Emotional Healing Process
by Diane Linsley
This is a process I teach to clients who are dealing with emotional
issues. I recommend practicing it for 15 to 30 minutes each day.
If you do it consistently, you will eventually train your mind to
process emotions and move into positive thinking automatically.
When I do this process myself, I sit on a special chair. Next to the
chair is a small table with a lamp, notebook and pen. My teddy bear is also there, so I have someone to hold and talk to. Sometimes I play soft music in the background. I've found that certain songs help me to process certain emotions.
Here are the steps:
1. Name the emotion (fear, anger, sadness, etc.)
2. Write down the emotion, and give it an intensity rating on a scale of 1-10.
3. Take a few minutes to write your thoughts. Start by writing, "I feel (sad, angry, etc.) because...."
4. If fear is not the first emotion that comes up, you may want to address it, too. Fear often underlies other emotions. Write, "I'm afraid that...."
5. Process the emotion using breathing techniques, energy work or Tonglen. Work on one emotion at a time. When dealing with shame, which is a complex emotion, break it down into its component parts, which are fear, anger and sadness. Work on each of these parts separately.
6. Self-soothe. Write or speak to yourself out loud as if you are a parent soothing a child. For example, "You will be okay. You are a good, kind and smart person. Even though you are having a difficult time, I love you unconditionally. You can do this." This is compassionate self-talk.
7. Shift from past to future: "Here's what I can do now to improve my situation." This shifts you into the part of the brain that thinks positively and is focused on taking action to create a better future. Write down one small thing you can do today for self-compassion.
Pay close attention to your body as you are doing each of the steps. Where do you feel the emotion? Notice how your energy shifts throughout the session. When you finish the process, look back at what you wrote on the paper, and see how much your vibration has changed.
Retest your emotional state and rate your feelings on a scale of 1-10. If there's still some intensity, you may want to go through the process again.
Breathing Techniques
Deep Breathing - When breathing in, imagine filling up the lower belly, then the chest, and finally, the head. When breathing out, just relax and let the breath go naturally. Don't push it out. Breathe through the nose, not the mouth. This calms the nervous system.
The following is a technique I learned from Bill Harris, creator of Holosync meditation.
Accepting/Releasing Breathing - As you breathe in, think the word "accepting." As you breathe out, think the word "releasing." Continue breathing like this until you experience a shift or a feeling of release.
Emotional Intelligence
It's important to actually do this process, not just read about it. This is a powerful process, and I want you to experience it.
I did this process every day for 6 months when I was recovering from narcissistic abuse. Once my mind was trained, it began going through the steps automatically whenever I felt a negative emotion.
Research shows that anyone can increase their emotional intelligence with practice. I use this process for all sorts of things, not just the big traumas of life. I hope you find it helpful :)
You might enjoy this inner child healing meditation.
Be well,
Diane Linsley
